susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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