last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
