Midget sex pt 2 tonight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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