Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
