The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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