I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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