end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
