Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
