chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
