jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
