I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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