Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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