aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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