OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
