i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
