Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
