God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
