Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
