You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
