Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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