did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
