I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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