last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
