i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
