Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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