I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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