He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
