I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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