ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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