Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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