Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
