My room smells like vodka and shame
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
