i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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