I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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