Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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