This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
