she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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