being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
