yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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