and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is Oprah even human
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
