The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
