You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
