I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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