Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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