508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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