i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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