this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I party with great urgency now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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