I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
