I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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