my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
two words: eviction party
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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